the appreciation

we’ll brave the storm to come, for it surely looks like rain. it feels like spring got skipped over, which is sad, but i’m all about fall. i’ve been thinking about when i’ll get to strap back into snowshoes and get some real workouts going on. there’s some open space nearby that would be perfect. the space is odd. i can’t find any entry points, but once you whack into it then you find some faint trail that eventually turns into a beaten path, which exits near a baseball field. it appears this place gets hardly any use at all. i’ll take care of that. the place already left its mark on me a few days ago. early morning jog through its small wetlands thrashed my ankles and left me bloody, which i’m all for. give me all you got and i’ll return the favor. in this case i’ll spend some quality time there and give it the respect it deserves. not much open space in this here part. i’m working on a large jogging loop but so far too much of it goes through neighborhoods. due south i hit the water towers and then through a couple blocks of homes. i meet up with a creekside trail which takes me between more homes. i’m dropped into a larger and more heavily used open space, with its own fenced off reservoir. i get as much mileage as i can through the many trails and vehicle tracks, then exit and head about a ½ mile down a ‘burban street and into that first open space mentioned above. i spend time there and then i’m back home. it’s still a work in progress. also it’s a ton easier to just hit the gym in the predawn hours than it is to run dark streets. headlamp…hmm. then again, it’s getting colder out. and wetter. i guess i have the gear to handle all of that. but not for semi-high intense activities like running. my stuff is for meandering. i guess i have my under armour long sleeve. and shorts i have. but i couldn’t do freezing weather. that’ll be when i bust out floatation, assuming global warming doesn’t cancel snow this year.

there they are

open space

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more employee appreciation days have come and gone. i particularly enjoyed free pizza day, the ice cream trucks, battle of the bands during lunch (the johnny cash band killed), and a cute little carnival that i took katie to. her and i then went to the airport for dinner.

LVLT's got talent!

Carnival!

cone-sno

Katie wanted me to do this...I said nope.

more sugar

time to burn some of it off

Rocky Mountain JeffCo Colorado Metropolitan Interlocken Airport

dinner with a view

daddy daughter date

my work’s also got an ongoing volunteer program so i spent a day in longmont at boulder county’s health and human services. they’ve got five or so rooms where parents can hang out and talk with their children who have been removed from their custody due to abuse, neglect, etc. these rooms are so small and have to cater to kids between ages 0 to 18. they all have cameras, audio recording devices, one-way mirrors, multiple tissue boxes, and legos. we wiped down toys, bins, books, shelves, walls, tables, you name it. everything was disinfected top to bottom. we organized toy animals, cars, board games, counted puzzle pieces and memory games, and put together high chairs.

cramped quarters. hard to swallow the emotions taking place in these rooms.

much better



nice job ladies (and gentleman)

 it was a great time and the folks that work there really appreciated it. Level 3 is pretty awesome for offering and organizing something like this. they make it so easy. we have such great leadership. i'll stop gushing about my work. but it’s especially awesome when i get to rub elbows the entire time with our global head of HR. ain’t she sumpn’.

it's my last night in this, my 4th or so shelter. 99% of my personal effects are all transferred over to shelter #5, or so. nature shut off the valve tonight allowing me a final dry shuttling of goods down the road. tomorrow i close the door on this temporary and transitional crap, and tomorrow i can begin to settle in. i’m good with that. i had lots of free pizza today at work, TP happy hour, and crappy fast food dinner, so i should really work out tonight, and in the morning, and every minute after that for a week…but i’m drained. every night i’ve been on the move until very late, and then wake up a little after 5 and i’m back on the move and getting ready for work. and she runs, through her days, with the smile, on her face. and she runs, and she waits. and i wait. the toadies – tyler – one of my all-time fav songs is playing. haven’t heard this in at least 5 years. and i’m tired and want a full night’s sleep for once. it helps to have spent many a night sleeping on the ground outdoors over the past few years. it makes all type of living conditions pretty bearable. i try to find the good in every situation.

it’s a ghost town around here. just one lonely soul wanders about and the chill in the air is back. it’s going to be a cold one. soon enough i’ll be out there once again trying to navigate it alone. and that’s okay. i can push on even if one of my board members is not seated at the table. for a little while at least. it’s quite possible i’ll always be out there without a partner. i guess you can’t have everything. this is something i can accept over time. it’s probably the fairest way about it all. i really don’t want anyone hurt under my watch or by my doing. i keep thinking about the stillness of the winter when i’m out there alone. so quiet and colorless. nothing moves except twinkling sunlight reflecting off each snow grain. i’m miles from my car or anyone. i want to keep going on into the night and let old man winter transform me into a hard frosty statue. i’ve been compared in life to mr. tumnus, so maybe this would be a fitting way to depart the world. something about controlling the how and when is kind of alluring. why wait for a stroke or cancer to take you out? if i’m ready and assuming it’s winter, i just might take fate into my hands and keep walking (snowshoeing). in other words, hyporthermia is probably one of the better ways to die in my opinion.

when disaster strikes…busta rhymes. the intro is what i want as my eulogy.

this cold day today really sucked the life out of me. also socked any motivation to do anything this weekend, except maybe visit the local mexican establishment for happy hour. i’d still have to do some laundry, pack up, and figure out what to even do. i either want to have nothing to do with a 14er or i want to go out tonight and climb every last one starting with quandary. lately i’ll be out there hiking and can’t help but feel like i left something behind. it’s something so important that i’m not sure i can even successfully complete the hike. it’s not my boots or camera. it’s something though, and it pounds and gnaws at me the entire time. it’s distracting and messes with my head. in the end i finish the hike just fine, but it’s all without a spark i once felt. feels lately that i’m just checking items off a list. it’s incomplete out there. i keep walking and turn to my memories and i turn to the future. then the present slaps me in the face to try and wake my ass up. that hurt. maybe with some luck and if the stars align again, my walking will take me exactly where i long to be. if ever..

the end